Sunday, January 8, 2012

Free plug for Dresden Codak

Even that forgotten act of kindness helped to build someone's faith in life.

Heaven and Hell

To appreciate what you have is to be able to value it without clinging to it or pushing it away, and to make good use of it while you can. More fundamentally, it is to understand that there is nothing that you have to be, nothing that can't happen to you, and nothing that you can't lose. It is to let go, to accept, and to be thankful. It is to look upon the truth unwavering, and to act in full awareness of risk and reward. To have and value without appreciating is to warp and waste, to live a smaller, darker life, to only wonder what this light would have revealed, had it not been extinguished forever.

Making it yours

You can't take credit for it. You can only hope to live up to it.

My dark pit of darkness

For someone who's supposed to be a writer...

Things are worse than I want to say. I'm out of control and I seem determined to ruin every precious opportunity that comes my way. I keep telling myself what I need to do and not doing it. I don't want to tell anyone about it because I don't want to be seen like this, and because it's just so boring.

I want there to be someone outside of my family who I can rely on to help me stay focused and keep moving forward, but that's a fantasy. I want to cease this idiotic cycle of procrastination and avoidance before it really blows up in my face, but none of the signs I'm seeing point in that direction. I don't want to waste this life. So much good has gone into it, and so much can be done with it.

There's nothing left to say. I will or I won't.

Monday, December 5, 2011

Cell phone test post

I am posting from my LG 900G phone using the Bolt browser, just to see if I can actually do that. I don't seem to be able to make line breaks.

Oh hey, I can do that in the phone's onboard editor! Spiffy!

Friday, November 4, 2011

A petal falls

I knew her first as Rose.

Some time in late 2010, Rose has broken up with the love of her life, soon to be her fiancee, and meanwhile she is distracting herself with me. On one of the most beautiful nights in my memory, neither of us are getting any sleep. We are inspiring each other to wakefulness with lust and admiration, and somehow I find myself reading aloud to her. I'm amazed at how well I'm doing this, but I would offer her nothing less. She has spent the night being generous and honest and beautiful, and she's been telling me her story. She's been showing me her love, and it's been making me love her. I feel closer to her than I've felt to anyone in a very long time, and I want to give her everything.

I want to share this because, as of early October, I am the only person who remembers it. Rose is with us only in memory now. I was only a very small part of her life, but I looked forward to continuing to share my ideas with her. She won't be reading these entries any more, but she continues to inspire them. Good night, Rose. I will carry this little light with me.