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Cell phone test post

I am posting from my LG 900G phone using the Bolt browser, just to see if I can actually do that. I don't seem to be able to make line breaks.

Oh hey, I can do that in the phone's onboard editor! Spiffy!

A petal falls

I knew her first as Rose.

Some time in late 2010, Rose has broken up with the love of her life, soon to be her fiancee, and meanwhile she is distracting herself with me. On one of the most beautiful nights in my memory, neither of us are getting any sleep. We are inspiring each other to wakefulness with lust and admiration, and somehow I find myself reading aloud to her. I'm amazed at how well I'm doing this, but I would offer her nothing less. She has spent the night being generous and honest and beautiful, and she's been telling me her story. She's been showing me her love, and it's been making me love her. I feel closer to her than I've felt to anyone in a very long time, and I want to give her everything.

I want to share this because, as of early October, I am the only person who remembers it. Rose is with us only in memory now. I was only a very small part of her life, but I looked forward to continuing to share my ideas with her. She won't be reading these entries any more, but she continues to inspire them. Good night, Rose. I will carry this little light with me.

To someone

I don't know what to say. I love you. I am groping for more words.

Your boldness, creativity, and energy inspire me. Your beauty enthralls me. To see your face is to want to be worthy of your gaze, to find the best in myself and offer it to you. You make me remember it and believe that I can bring it out again. I love you, I love you, I love you.

More words for yall

Tonight, a cherished friend has asked me to write, and I would dearly like to deliver, but there's so little I feel ready to say.

I have returned to my home town in Oceanside, CA, and I've gotten myself into a difficult situation. I have no job and I only have what little money my family can afford to send me, and I'm keeping house and helping my friend take care of her daughter for room and board. I have very little privacy or time to myself, and my relationships with the people I live with are often tense.

What keeps my hopes up is the decision I've made to make math tutoring my career. The boring work I do here (which I'm really not great at) has new meaning in light of the future I'm now consciously trying to build for myself.

I haven't been writing here because I've been busy with my notebook, and I've been so uncertain about so much. I am still thinking and writing and planning, looking forward to a time when I can share more of my ideas with the world.

I'm tired now, and I don't think I have much more time to write. I hope to have more to say in the near future, and I am thankful to the friend who actually wants to see more of this stuff.

Desert

Punishment for its own sake is harmful and stupid. A new concept of desert is called for. Beat this: What you deserve is what would make you better, in character, in consequence, and in wellness.

Her laughter

I'm not worried. If there is a single change I would make in you, it simply does not occur to me in this moment because it is so joyously, raucously overwhelmed by everything about you that I could not imagine wanting to change. This would be a dimmer world without you. These words trail off into obscurity before you. I only hope my eyes, my touch, my life will convey this message.